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Second Letter

What follows is the second letter that I sent to Harold and Bob. This was after I received an e-mail that concerned me quite a bit. I was certainly afraid that I was getting in way over my head.
Harold & Bob,

I was talking to Hersh (who now lives in Tucson) about play in general and about my stay at your place this summer. Hersh made a comment that some of the "boys" he played with wanted to be "heroes" that could take anything. This seemed to tie-in well with Harold's comments about me being able to "ratchet-up" the level of the play, but I couldn't bring it back down.

Which brings it back to me. I don't think I am that tough. Period. I haven't played with you, but I know that you are very skilled and can be VERY rough (both physically and psychologically). I believe that you could have me whimpering and whining to get out in a remarkably short period of time - in hours if not minutes. I know that I want to be teased along at-the-edge, not pushed over the cliff.

The reason I brought up "escaping", is because I have. (Too many times.) It is not that I really want to get out, but that I want to TRY to get out. (And, yes, sometimes I really do want to get out. Isn't life strange?) Trying to escape is the best way for me to know that I REALLY can't. For example, Christina, who is very good with rope (really, she is) tied me up. It took me about 4 hours to get out. I then spent another two hours tying myself up so I couldn't. I know that I would have preferred to have stayed tied-up all night. I wanted to let you know that I would be REALLY trying to escape, so that I couldn't.

The same thing goes for my comment about trading places. I could have locked Yossie in his cage. It is kind of fun to think of pulling a switch. (I even like tying people up. Heck, I do it to myself all of the time.) For me, being in a position that I can seriously think of pulling off a switch takes something away from the play. I know you can prevent it. I know I want you to prevent it. I don't really want to top you. (Topping is a lot of work.) Thanks for considering playing with me. I truly appreciate this opportunity.

I hope that this makes it clear that my real desire is NOT to be able to get out and NOT to switch places. The comments in my first letter was an indirect way of asking you to be extra careful. Sorry. I do think the best way to communicate wants, needs, & desires is to be direct, complete & honest. It may be too late to say what you want after the gag goes in <grin>. - Louis

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